S is to Sport as Rapide S is to Sexy Sport

2011 Aston Martin Rapide

I've often sung praises to the Aston Martin Rapide, mostly comparing it to the Porsche Panamera by its looks, power, grace, stance, price, reasonableness, the list goes on. It seems that the only categories in which the ugly Panamera is superior are power and speed. But, not for long as Aston Martin have recently announced that they're working on an S version of the mighty Rapide, which has been rumored to be fitted with the DBS 6.0-liter 510 horsepower V12 engine for more umph and speed. Let's see the Porsche cling on to victory now as the Aston charges for him.

Such a Mistake

2011 BMW 550i GT

It's taken them a while now, but I think it's gotten through their heads. BMW has officially deemed their least-selling car, 5-Series GT, a mistake. I don't blame them. Look at it, it's ugly! They might've taken inspiration from the Panamera. It doesn't matter now because that car has claimed the title as the fastest saloon car in the world. As for the 5 GT, all it has claimed is a rotten trophy for being a piece of crap. Get this. BMW set a goal to sell 4,000 to 8,000 5 GTs in the U.S. annually. Last year, they only sold 2,180 of them, and have currently sold 2,160 of them this year. It's gotten so bad that dealerships have stopped ordering 5 GTs because people just don't want them. It seems that the manufacturer has learned its lesson and will apply it in the new 3-Series GT that they will bring next year. As for the regular 5-door station wagon, it seems like it's too late to bring that over here, although they do consider bringing it, when the development for the next-gen 5 begins. So, here's a Transporter top tip: if you want a fast, luxurious Grand Tourer from BMW, you have two choices: 1. the 2012 BMW 550i X-drive M-Sport sedan, or 2. the 2012 BMW 650i Convertible/Coupe. And, if someone offers you a BMW 5 GT, take your right hand and slap across the face, because he's stupid for even buying one in the first place.

Porsche Gets a Green Thumb

2012 Porsche Panamera Diesel

This is the new Porsche Panamera. Doesn't look any different from the other models, does it? It still has that same ugly stance and 911-based design that makes it look utterly hideous. But, at least it gets good mileage, because what you're looking at here is the new Panamera Diesel. That's right! Porsche has just now unveiled their newest green machine. Under the hood is a 3.0-liter 250 horsepower V6 Turbodiesel engine with 405 lb.-ft. of torque projecting the car from 0 to 60 in 6.8 seconds to a top speed of 150 MPH. Now, that does seem quick, but thanks to a decently powerful engine and clever engineering, Porsche say that this car will do 37.3 MPG. That's near close to what you get in a Prius, and that's 10x uglier than this car! Not to mention it produces 167 CO2s per kilometer. To put in perspective, the Jaguar XFR produces 292 CO2s per kilometer which makes it much greener than any sports car comparable. If the Panamera only produces 167, that means it is genuinely doing less damage to the environment than the Nickel-ion batteries in all of Toyota's hybrids. I don't know about you, but that's astounding. Prices start at £62,134, which is $104,000 over here due to currency conversion, but Porsche haven't announced yet if it will come over here. It would be good if it did though, despite it's ugliness. 

Beauty Combined with Innovation

2011 Audi A7 3.0 TFSI

I have one question for Porsche. Why couldn't your Panamera look a lot more like this? They might be crazy group of Germans, but Audi sure knows how to make some very nice looking cars, well, except for the Q7 of course. This is the all new Audi A7, Audi's answer to the Mercedes-Benz CLS and Porsche Panamera. Audi says it's ready to go on sale in the U.S. for a base price of $59,250. That's pretty expensive for a V6 car. Then again, the Porsche Panamera starts at $74,400. Also, this is no regular V6. This is Audi's 3.0-liter FSI Supercharged (TFSI®) 310 horsepower V6 engine. They that thanks to its Quattro™All Wheel Drive system, it will do 0 to 60 in just 5.4 seconds on its way to a limited top speed of 130 MPH. Not to mention it's a lot less complicated then the Panamera, with the car doing almost everything for you, except driving. You also have the option of installing a Bang & Olufsen® Sound System with speakers that rise out of the compartments. And since it comes with 15 different speakers around the cockpit of the car, you get full HD sound whenever your driving; it's like being in a moving concert hall. Luxury, Style, Performance: all great attributes of this car. So, if you've got money and want an alternative to the ugly Porsche Panamera, here you go: the Audi A7.  

Power is Everything

2012 Porsche Panamera Turbo S

Porsche is a stubborn manufacturer. They think they can design all their cars to look like the 911, but honestly, it just doesn't work. When it comes to performance, though, their cars do stand out. Speaking of performance, have you met the all new Panamera Turbo S? It's still a weird looking 4-door, 4-seater saloon car, but it's much faster than the old Turbo. If 500 horsepower didn't please you, 550 horsepower just might make you go insane. 0 to 60 is done in, get this, 3.6 seconds. That's about as quick as a Pagani Zonda F. The top speed of this 190 MPH. Prices start at $173,200. So, this is an insanely fast, insanely expensive, and ridiculously looking car. Oh yeah, it definitely stands out. Check this car out on Porsche's website, then in New York where it makes its official debut there.

Porsche to the Rescue!

2011 Porsche Panamera Turbo ALMS Safety Car

So who do you call when you've crashed on a race track, your car's on fire, and you have no way of getting out? Well, if you're an ALMS (American Le Mans Series) driver, you're gonna call Porsche, because they've been chosen as the official emergency manufacturer of the ALMS Racing Series. First up, there's the Safety Car, which, unfortunately, is the ugly Porsche Panamera Turbo. I understand that most safety cars are muscle cars or grand tourers, but honestly, I would rather pick the 911 instead of this car. But, help is at hand because the Rapid Response cars are actually good looking.

2011 Porsche Cayenne & Cayenne Turbo ALMS Medic Units 

When you're stuck in a ditch or if you've crashed your car, the first cars to pull up for your rescue are these Porsche Cayennes. Now that it's nicer looking, I wouldn't mind having these cars transport me to a hospital whenever I've crashed my race car. So, there they are: the new Safety Team of ALMS. Hopefully, no one gets into a serious accident this weekend at Sebring.